Inside the Mind of a Mom Who’s at Home, Trying to Work
I don’t believe everything on the internet, but holy smokes do I believe this. Sometime in the last few weeks I ran into an article that said we need to stop calling it “working from home,” and start calling it “at home, trying to work.” So. F’ing. True.
I count my blessings that I can work from home—as bonkers as it is—because there are plenty of people who can’t. We owe a huge debt of gratitude for those essential workers on the front lines of the healthcare system, public utility, grocery workers, delivery drivers, and many more. Also on my mind are those who are out of work, our friends in food service, retail, service and hospitality, entrepreneurs, gig economy workers, freelancers, and the recently downsized or laid off. The economic downturn is kicking a lot of people in the ass right now and I realize how lucky I am to be able to work from home.
Yet somehow, I can be lucky and grateful and completely f’ing over it at the same time.
In full transparency, I sat down to write this article three weeks ago. That just about sums up what my life has been while we’ve been living this stay-at-home life. The best of intentions to do things for myself—I’d work out everyday, go for walks, get my to-do list in order, focus on my job, and nail ALL OF IT. Whelp, not so much.
I did not realize the involvement distance learning requires. I have a kindergartener at home and a husband who also works full time. My husband’s job is very video-conference heavy, whereas mine is more project-based with emails and a few calls here and there (depending on the day). So the bulk of the teaching assistance falls to me. My head is on a swivel all day long—15 minutes of emails, 20 minutes of reading assignments, 45-minute conference call, 15 minutes of a science experiment, 20 of working a spreadsheet, 15 minutes of writing practice… and so on and on. ALL DAY LONG.
Gone are the days where I could take the scenic route to work with the windows down listening to my favorite podcast or run to a quick power lunch workout with some co-workers. And don’t even mention the luxury of lunch with friends or, *gasp*, sitting down to focus on something for an extended period of time and emerge victorious with the most beautiful production budget you’ve ever seen.
So, yeah, working from home looks a lot different than I expected it to look.
However, during these last few weeks, I learned to cut myself some slack. So the kiddo watches more TV than I’d like, so we don’t get all the school work done by 1 p.m. as requested, so the focused work time comes early in the morning or after dinner. Big deal. I’m doing the best I can and trying to make the most of it.
My son LOVES being home with his parents all day. He is playing with his toys, building imaginary worlds, playing soccer in the backyard and enjoying the distance learning assignments (most of the time).
I’m hanging in there and learning ways to work more efficiently. Staying on top of what I can, and asking for help when I need it. I have a daily video conference with my office besties specifically for chit-chat and enjoy the post-work cocktail with my husband.
At the end of the day, we are all just winging it. We are all going through our own version of crazy and the best we can do is be kind to each other. Understand that being at home working doesn’t mean the same thing it did three months ago (code for “I need to do laundry and will occasionally check in on email”).
Have empathy for the extrovert who lives alone (and her constant texting and social hour video conference requests), the working mom turned elementary school teacher who doesn’t reply to your email right away, and the freelance producer who has no idea when her next gig will come through. We’re all going through some shit, but at least we’re together.
So hang in there, friends. This is going to be hard, but won’t be forever. Soon we’ll be complaining about our messy deskmate or the gross office coffee again—and won’t that be great!
// image by Polina Zimmerman