We Need Our Villages, Now More Than Ever
The world has been pretty rough lately. How are you doing? Are you surviving? As a working mom in the middle of all this, I can confidently say that the only way I’m getting by is with the help from my village. They are the people that I count on and the ones who help me realize it’s ok to say, “I can’t fucking do this by myself.”
My three best work friends and I chat everyday. Either via Marco Polo, text or a video conference, or, if the weather is nice enough, in a backyard. We talk about what’s going on in our work lives and our life lives. We vent when things are hard. We celebrate our victories. We bring cake, flowers, and wine when someone needs cheering up. We are the pressure release valve for all the things that add up over time. The fact that we are all WFH makes it hard, but even more important, to make an effort to stay close.
This fall has brought new challenges that require some outside assistance. With a full-time distance learning first-grader, I wasn’t sure how we would manage at home for another long stretch of remote school. He’s a smart kid who likes school (most of the time), but distance learning is not easy for kids that age. They need help, guidance and encouragement. We managed in the spring, but the stakes are a little higher now. Enter my amazing sister. She is a talented (yet, unemployed) chef with the unfortunate luck of being a kitchen manager at the airport when COVID took over. She’s been coming every day to help my little guy with his assignments, freeing me up to have space in my brain to think, focus and create. Something I didn’t realize was gone until I got it back. I’m so grateful to her. And they are having a blast!
I’m not alone in needing a village of support, we all do. Thinking specifically about my agency colleagues, I wanted to make sure they were getting the support they needed, too. Were they getting what they needed to help them find space in their brain to think, focus and create? If not, what could I do to help? I encourage them to take PTO, even though we are slammed. We find creative ways to negotiate project schedules around distance learning schedules for working parents. Allowing folks the space to grieve or protest. And to be empathic humans who know shit is really hard right now and we could all use some grace.
Although it feels like the sky is falling right now, we have to hang on to each other. That’s the one thing I know will get us through. Believing in the power of community and knowing that we have each other’s back gives me hope that we’ll see brighter days.
// Image by Ilja Tulit