A Few Lessons from a First-Time Mentor

For many years, I believed I had no idea what I was doing. With my job, with my hair, with my life… and I said it constantly. When someone gave me praise or noted an accomplishment, I’d brush it off and laugh. “I really don’t know what I’m doing,” I’d quip. Because that’s what it felt like. As someone still relatively new to the fast-paced world of marketing and advertising, I am still often dizzied by it. Throughout the first few years of my career I clung tightly to the old adage, “Fake it 'til you make it.”

So when asked to be a MPLS MadWomen Mentor, I was … hesitant, to say the least. “But I don’t know what I’m doing,” I replied. “You’ll be great!” They told me.

What is mentorship?

In my experience, mentorship has been the opportunity to connect with someone in a casual, laid-back environment and get answers to the questions I can’t discuss with my bestie or my boss. I’ve had a number of mentors over the years—through college and into my career—who have helped me tackle questions like: Is it the right time to look for a new job? How much money should I ask for? Is my resume up to snuff?

The MPLS MadWomen Mentorship Program is one I’ve been involved with since its onset. Once a mentee, now a mentor, it’s introduced me to countless women accomplishing impressive feats in the field. It has reminded me, time and time again, the importance of women uplifting other women. It is our duty to extend the ladder behind us once we’ve made it to the top of the cliff, making it easier for the next gal to climb. It is our responsibility to pave a smoother road for the women who come after us; the women who will lead our companies, our countries... the world.

It’s not to be taken lightly, so I was nervous going in. But I’m ecstatic coming out. As the 2020-21 Mentorship Program wraps, I’m reflecting on the last nine months of Zoom calls with my mentee—and here’s what I learned (punctuated by Moira Rose, David and all our faves for good measure).

1. Preparation is key.

I’ll be honest. At first, I thought I could “wing it” when it came to this whole mentorship thing. I figured my mentee and I would just… chat, and see where the conversation took us. That did happen, but I also learned pretty quickly to arrive more prepared—with topics to discuss, work to review, and questions to ask.

Shoutout to my mentee who arrived at every meeting more prepared than me. She helped ignite the fire I needed to really plan out our conversations. Once we determined what topics would be most valuable for both of us to discuss, our meetings became a bit more “formal,” because we had a plan.

One month, we talked about salary and promotion. Another, we dove into her senior capstone project before she presented it. In my favorite meeting, we shared vision boards and talked about our goals for the future. Arriving prepared helped us keep the conversation going and ensure we both got something out of every meeting.

2. It’s OK not to know all the answers.

Before the mentorship program officially kicked off, I was worried I’d be a “bad” mentor because I don’t have all the answers. What I learned along the way is that it’s OK not to have all the answers. Honesty and authenticity matter more.

For the most part, my mentee asked me about graduation, finding a job, negotiating for the pay she deserves, and how to deal with difficult coworkers. Those were questions I had answers to. But when questions about a role I haven’t had or companies I haven’t worked for arose, I had to be honest and say, “I don’t know.”

Saying “I don’t know” is humbling, and it helped me develop a more honest rapport with my mentee. Thinking back to my own experiences with mentors, I felt a lot more empowered by women who were honest with me about their failures and downfalls. Knowing that the most successful among us don’t have all the answers, either, reminded me and my mentee that it’s OK not to have it all figured out.

3. It’s important to have fun.

The whole reason we do any of this—join organizations, attend events, connect with the community—is to get more out of our day-to-day lives. Especially now—each of us plagued with Zoom fatigue, COVID fatigue, maybe job fatigue—it’s important that we have other people in our corner, cheering us on.

More than anything, that’s what the MPLS MadWomen Mentorship Program gave me this year. A friendly, familiar face to talk to. An ongoing responsibility and renewed sense of purpose. An opportunity that reminded me why I do what I do.

Bonus lesson: I’m not a fraud.

The “mentor” hat was a little uncomfortable at first. Wearing it made me feel like an imposter. But once I got to know my mentee—once I realized how similar we are, when I tapped back into the part of me that was once about to graduate college and embark on the big, scary world of advertising—our conversations flowed, and so did our growth. I am honored to have had the opportunity to share what I know with another woman in my community. It helped me realize that maybe I really do know what I’m doing, after all. Maybe I’m not a fraud. Maybe instead, I’m a mentor.

// Image byClay Banks